


Pretzel

by karmanisms



Category: Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020)
Genre: Angst, Bollywood, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:00:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24214810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karmanisms/pseuds/karmanisms
Summary: Kartik brings home a puppy one day.Despite disliking dogs, Aman finds solace in him in more ways than one.
Relationships: Kartik Singh/Aman Tripathi
Comments: 76
Kudos: 102





	1. I knew you were trouble

**_23rd May 2019_ **

"What's this puppy doing here?"

"I see nothing. There's just me and you, love."

Aman massages his temple, not in the mood for his boyfriend's tomfoolery. Kartik leans against the doorframe as he silently snickers at the annoyance on his boyfriend's face, a look he can never get enough of. "You're right. I don't see a tiny cocker spaniel in your arms, nuh-uh. Sorry for being so foolish." The sarcasm dripping from Aman's voice does not affect Kartik's antics in the slightest. 

"Go give it back to wherever you got the puppy from. I don't think we'll be able to look after him."

Aman leaves the door open behind him as he stalks to the kitchen. His words make it clear that there's no room for argument and Kartik should know better. He follows Aman and sits down on a stool adjacent to the kitchen aisle.

"Oh come on babe, have you seen this cutie? There's no way you can say no to his adorable face." Kartik holds the tiny beast against his chest and rests his head above it, his chin hooked over it. 

"Kartik, no!"

"Aman, yes!"

"Kartik, no!"

"Yes"

"No"

"No"

"Yes"

"Gotcha!"

"Ugh" Aman knows how stubborn Kartik can get. He snaps the knife out of the knife holder and points it towards Kartik. "If he makes a mess of my house, that I've taken a lot of effort to design and decorate, mind you, the puppy and you, both are gonna have to be evicted. Have I made myself clear?"

"Crystal. Cross my heart and hope to die"

"Alright, the dog's your responsibility. Kuch bhi ho jaye, don't expect me to look after him," ( _ No matter what, don't expect me to look after him) _ Aman pointedly states while cutting an apple for himself. He exits the kitchen once he's done and goes to the bedroom, leaving Kartik dumbfounded. 

Kartik follows after him, the puppy still in his arms. He sits down at the edge of the bed. "Don't you dare let his paws touch my bed!" 

"Fine, I'll let him play on the bloody floor," surrenders Kartik. 

"Ek apple ka slice milega?" ( _ Can I have one slice?) _

Kartik opens his mouth wide and closes his eyes, an "aaahh'' escaping his mouth as he prompts Aman to feed him. "First tell me what the doctor said. Tum ilaj karane gaye the aur iss kutte ko lekar wapas aa gaye." ( _ You went to get treated but came back with this dog, instead. _

"Pretzel"

"Huh? Pretzels kyu khane hai tumhe achanak?" ( _ Why do you feel like eating pretzels?) _ Aman mutters, confused. 

" I have decided we're gonna call our son 'Pretzel'. Cute naam hai na?" ( _ Isn't it a cute name?) _

Aman rolls his eyes and continues munching on the fruit in front of him. "He's not our son, he's yours. And.... okay, I guess it's not too bad a name for this tiny thing." He curtly shrugs, averting his eyes. 

"Come here, Pretzel. Come here, boy," Kartik coos at the pup as he rolls on the floor on his back. "Stop stalling and tell me. Kya kaha doctor ne?"  _ (What did the doctor say?) _ Aman repeats, knowing how his boyfriend is an expert at dodging such questions. 

"Everything's tickety-boo! He just said not to eat cold stuff too soon cause it gives me brain-freeze. And.... the fatigue is mostly 'cause I don't eat well, thanks to my hectic job."

"Aur ye Pretzel kaha se aaya tumhare paas?" ( _ And how did you find Pretzel) _

"He was safely tucked away in this cardboard box in an abandoned alley on my way here. Ro raha tha bichara ( _ The poor thing was whimpering)  _ . Of course, I had to bring him home."

"Open up," Aman says finally as he nudges an apple slice towards his mouth. Kartik happily snacks on it as Aman continues feeding him more of it. He scoots closer to Aman and hugs his waist. Not wasting a moment, he pecks his boyfriend's lips.

It wipes out the frown on Aman's face as Kartik knows he struggles to remain neutral against Kartik's puppy eyes, cute pecks and eskimo kisses. He lets his lips touch Kartik's in a gentle peck, smiling as he does it. They continue this tradition on loop, one smacking his lips against the other in a soft peck, lopsided grins blooming on their face.

Kartik rubs circles on Aman's lower back as their lips lazily move in sync, warmth engulfing his heart as he kisses the love of his life. Aman's fingers trace the edge of Kartik's ear and run along the base of his neck, playing with the hair there.

Aman hears the pattering of the puppy's feet against the floor but decides to ignore it as he let's himself enjoy the sensation Kartik's lips bring. He begins to feel lightheaded as the kiss progresses. 

When whiffs of a strong stench ambush his nostrils, he slowly pulls away from his boyfriend's heavenly lips. 

"Honey…"

He cups Kartik's face in his hands. The sickly sweet smile and Aman's oddly puffed cheeks greet Kartik's gaze as he opens his eyes once they end their kiss. "Yes?"

"If you don't get rid of the mess on the floor in the next 3 minutes, Lord help me, there'll be blood on my hands."

Kartik doesn't know what's worse. The puppy's pee on the floor or the murderous intent behind that honey-dripping smile. Nonetheless, he scrambles out of bed to find a rag to get rid of the excretion.

  
  


**_7th June 2019_ **

Kartik silently creeps into the living room once he's done showering to check up on Aman but instead of discovering his husband busy in the kitchen or chilling in front of the TV, he finds the room dimly lit by a few scented candles dispersed around the room. 

He sees Aman smiling wide, the one where his gums are visible and his tongue slightly pokes out. He takes long strides towards Kartik and buries his face in shoulder while tightly hugging him. 

Once he lifts his head up again, he tiptoes up to drop a kiss on Kartik's wet, ruffled hair. "I knew you'd probably be too tired to actually go out on a Friday night, so I took the liberty to set up our date here itself," Aman excitedly gushed. 

Aman hugs Kartik and eskimo kisses him. Kartik shyily bites his bottom lip and nods. As Kartik snakes his arms around Aman's shoulders, Aman softly caresses Kartik's cheeks. 

They stay in that same position for a few moments, Aman gets lost in Kartik's brown orbs. The soft look tugs at his heart strings, strumming a symphony that resounds with their souls merged into one. He feels the urge to entwine his fingers with his boyfriend's but he doesn't want to let go of his home- the small of Kartik's back. 

Kartik basks in the glory of Aman's all too precious smile, the one that's just reserved for him. His pink full lips, his beard, the tiny creases by his mouth, the flaring of his cute nose- lights a fire in him. The flame of love lit inside his heart by the spark originating from Aman's very existence in life can never burn out.

He bends down to peck Aman. "I love you," he mouths against Aman's lips. Aman tightly hugs him, "I love you more," he whispers, dwelling in the comfort of Kartik's arms.

He breaks away from the hug. "Khana thanda ho raha hai. Let's eat," Aman whines. They get themselves seated at the dining table, Kartik takes a generous helping of the pasta and fills Aman's plate with it as well while Aman plays some soft romantic music on their speakers.

As Aman pulls out a chair at the table to seat himself down beside Kartik, his husband gestures to him to open his mouth so he can spoon-feed him his meal's first morsel. Aman snorts slightly, but lets Kartik feed him nonetheless. "Remember back when we first started dating, I'd experiment a few recipes and feed them to you? They tasted horrible, I don't understand how you were able to consume that hot mess without a complaint," Kartik mutters as his face scrunches up in distaste.

"Well, what can I say? I was a lovesick fool back then. I didn't have the heart to break it to you that your cooking was horrible. Besides, the way your face lit up when I'd compliment you was pretty much worth the torture," Aman explains nonchalantly He holds Kartik's hands in his own palms. "But in all these years, you've gotten so much better and I can now proudly say I love this chef's magical hands." He pecks Kartik's knuckles. Kartik's face breaks into a smile as he continues eating his meal. 

Kartik feeds Pretzel while Aman gets rid of the dishes once they're done eating. A surprise kiss attack on Aman ensues after they complete their respective chores. He combs his fingers through Kartik's hair at the side of his head as they stumble a little, making their way to the bedroom. The kiss starts out soft and gentle, full of love and mushy feelings. But soon, it turns messy. Their tongues dance together in harmony, their hands roam the other's body, their breathing gets more ragged.

Once Kartik's back hits the bed, Aman wastes no time in ripping the t-shirt off his chest. He goes on to suck a spot below his collarbone that makes Kartik gasp loudly. His lips return to suck on Kartik's bottom lips as Kartik buries his hands in Aman's hair.

As they're busy worshipping each others body, Pretzel enters their room and starts barking. They decide to ignore him, figuring he'll go away after a while. But when he doesn't pause even after a few minutes, Aman let's Kartik escape from under him so he can make Pretzel stop barking his tail off.

One look at Pretzel and Kartik realises what a dumbass he is. He should've realised it sooner. 

"How could I forget? I have to walk Pretzel," he groans after abandoning Aman and his bed. 

_ 'Think about kittens and rainbows and toads and maybe some more ugly things,'  _ he tries to talk himself into thinking of these scenarios as he wears the shirt again, anything that can help him get rid of the hard-on he has.

He paces around the room after having attached Pretzel's leash to his collar. "I'll be back jaldi, okay?" he mutters.

"Don't worry honey, take your own sweet time."

"You're not mad?"

Aman smiles wide and rests his head on his pillow. "Goodnight, Kartik," he says sweetly

"Aman I-"

"Please close the door on your way out. You can sleep on the couch today," he says, the smile not leaving his face for a moment.

Kartik sighs, defeated as he picks up Pretzel's leash. He'll have to coax his annoyed boyfriend later, for now he needs to take the impatient puppy out.

  
  
  
  


**_23rd June 2019_ **

"Pretzel, let go!"

The tug of war commenced by the ball of fluff as he refuses to let go of Aman's clean underwear amuses Kartik to no end. A helpless looking Aman struggles to let the towel around his waist stay secure so as to not let his jewels be exposed. 

The poor man had just gotten out of the shower, fresh and ready to take on the day. His outfit for the day had been nicely laid out on the bed so that he could quickly change into it once he's done drying his body. But fate, or maybe Pretzel, in this particular situation, had different plans.

He mounted the bed. Deciding that the millions of chew toys Kartik has so graciously showered him with aren't enough, he picks out Aman's underwear and scampers to the living room with it. 

Aman who hadn't been informed that they have guests over, chases the puppy as he clings onto the towel around his waist. His face turns a bright red as he's stuck in this embarrassing predicament, waiting for the ground to swallow him whole. 

"Glad you're here, Aman. The Mehras are here to invite us to their daughter's wedding." Kartik snickers behind his palm. 

Mrs Mehra busies herself with her phone the moment Aman looks at her and her husband after Kartik announces their presence, to save him from further embarrassment. "Nice to see you, beta," Mr Mehra awkwardly adds. 

"I'm sorry, I'll go change and be right back."

''Once this asshole let's go of my underwear,'' he adds under his breath. He curses the three worlds for taking him for a toss. This really isn't funny and he wants to get rid of the dog now, more than ever before. 

Kartik walks over to Pretzel. With a gentle voice he starts, "Drop it, Pretzel." The tiny pup stops struggling instantly and let's go of the item of clothing. He runs straight to Kartik and barks up at him. Kartik gets the signal, he collects him in his arms, kissing his forehead. 

Aman is left dumbfounded. "Why won't the beast listen to him, for christ's sake?" He tries not to glare at the little thing as the guests are still around. " _ I'll find you a new owner and that's gonna be the end of it _ ," he thinks to himself.

  
  
  
  
  



	2. The storm and rainbow

**_12th July 2019_ **

  
  


Aman is comfortably lazing around in his bed. His headphones play his favourite k-pop playlist as he reads the novel he's been meaning to finish for months now. It makes him feel blissful. The blanket tucked around him and the stress-free atmosphere feels, is something he can never get enough of. It feels quite alien to him as he has been quite busy with work and catching a moment of breath feels slightly formidable to him.

Luckily, the big project he'd been working on has been finalised, verified and all ready to be set in motion once a few final touches are added to it. When his superintendent informs him and his team that they can head back home a little earlier, he wastes no time in useless chatter as he scrambles home faster than the flash.

Speaking of 'flash', he sees a flash of lightning strike the grey skies outside, as he looks up from his book to stare out the window for a moment. He pauses his music and takes off his headphones. 

He gets out of the comfort of his bed and makes his way to the window. On opening it, he realises that it has been raining for quite some time now. The soil outside is damp and he can smell the petrichor serenading his nose, a familiar sense of nostalgia and relief hits him.

The white walls in the bedroom light up as the lightning strikes the sky once more, this time accompanied by booming thunder and a strong gust of wind. The branches of the trees around his house rustle with the wind, the sky turns a little too dark. _Seems, like a storm is underway,_ he thinks to himself. He really hopes he is overestimating the condition at present.

He brews himself a nice cup of tea that he can enjoy while reading his book. It's quite the perfect weather for him to laze around in bed, enjoy a steaming cup of tea and scroll through the pages of his novel. 

Before he knows it, the conditions get worse as a storm hits them. Aman makes sure all the windows are tightly shut and the house is safe and secure.

He's slightly worried, Kartik is still at work and isn't sure whether his boyfriend will be home anytime soon or not. He picks his phone from the nightstand.

As if on cue, his ringtone blares, the screen flashes Kartik's contact, a smiling Kartik in a onesie blesses his screen. Aman promptly accepts the call. "Aren't you at work? Itni jaldi kaise phone utha liya tumne?" (How did you answer so fast?)

"They let us leave early because we didn't really have much to do," Aman replies. "Okay cool! Main abhi nikal raha hu. (I'm leaving now) I'll be home in a while. I know you must be worrying your cute little ass right now," Kartik says through the phone. "There's loads of traffic so it'll take time but I'll be there."

"Alright. Take care. Stay safe. I love you," Aman replies. "Try to get some sleep. I love you too, bye," Kartik says before the line goes silent. 

The roaring thunder gives Aman a jumpscare as he locks his phone and places it on his nightstand again. The silence that follows makes Aman's ears perk up as he hears the sound of faint whimpering from the living room.

He stalks over to where he thinks the sounds originate from. He hears them grow gradually louder as he nears the dining table. The sight under it breaks his heart. 

He sees Pretzel curled up in a ball, whimpering softly. His body trembles in fear once he hears the thunder again. "Hey bub, it's okay. I'm right here."

He out-stretches his arms towards Pretzel, motioning the frightened little puppy to come closer to him. His limbs refuse to move as the loud thunder and lightning scare the hell out of him and make him curl into himself further. 

Aman crawls over to him and caresses his head to help him calm down. It helps subdue the whimpers but the puppy still appears positively terrified. Aman decides that he's going to suck it up and hold Pretzel in his arms to soothe his nerves. 

He gently lifts the tiny puppy in his arms and brings him close to his chest. "You're not alone. We'll get through it together," he whispers, scratching his chin. 

Aman usually maintains his distance from Pretzel other than occasionally filling his water bowl, feeding him food and taking him out on walks when the need arises, he barely talks to Pretzel unless very necessary. 

Due to this, it takes Pretzel some time to trust him and get comfortable in his arms. Aman doesn't know how to make him feel better. He remembers seeing mothers rocking their crying babies back and forth to soothe their cries, he figures he can do the same to Pretzel. 

He circles the living room, rocking the puppy in his arms. Pretzel's occasional whimpers die down and his body stops trembling after a while of Aman trying to help him feel better.

As he enters his bedroom again, he decides that it's okay for Pretzel to sleep in his bed for now. He doesn't want to leave the poor thing alone. Aman lowers the puppy onto the bed and shuffles onto it beside him. 

He lies down sideways and let's Pretzel curl up by his side. A yawn escapes the puppy's mouth and it displays the canine teeth inside. Aman giggles at the sleepy look on his face and caresses him again. He thinks of a lullaby he can sing so that he can let Pretzel comfortably doze off next to him.

Halfway through it, he internally laughs at the fact that he has gone out of the way to let Kartik know of his distaste regarding Pretzel but, now he's here singing him a lullaby. He feels like he's a father singing to their child and, to be very honest, it feels kind of blissful.

  
  
  


\----

  
  
  


Kartik pockets the keys after he is safely in the confines of his house again. He could've easily rung the doorbell and let Aman know he's home. But he decides to let himself in using his keys so as to not wake Aman up (at least, he hopes Aman took his words seriously and is dozing off right now). 

He leaves his umbrella open to let it dry and quickly rushes to his room to get himself a fresh set of clothes to change into once he showers.

Never in a million years would he have expected to see Aman cuddling up with Pretzel. The two look blissful as Aman breathes out soft puffs of air and Pretzel is tucked under his chin. He has an arm hoisted over the little puppy, his fingers lost in his fur.

Kartik's heart thuds hard in his chest at the delightful sight before him. It's a sight too adorable for him to let go of, so he quickly snaps a picture and sets it as his lockscreen.

Before he melts into a puddle on the floor, thanks to his boyfriend and their son, he walks to the closet to pick out some comfortable clothes for himself. He tries his hardest to be as stealthy as possible so as to not wake them up and goes to the bathroom so he can immerse himself in the warm water and relax for the day.

  
  
  


**_14th July 2020_ **

  
  
  


"Yes?"

"Is this the Tripathi-Singh household? I'm Danish. I'm here to meet Aman Tripathi regarding the puppy. Pretzel, is it?"

"I'm…"

Kartik wants to smack the door on the man's face and tell him that Pretzel's not up for sale. He is their son, how can Aman even think of giving him away to a complete stranger just like that?

Not more than two days ago he found Aman smuggling up with the puppy, caressing his hair and treating him as if he's their offspring. What's with the 360° flip now? 

Despite his rightful anger and distaste regarding the situation at hand, he nods at the man and let's him enter the house. Pretzel comes running out of the bedroom, his tongue hangs out as he happily trots over to them, a toy in his mouth.

Danish coos at the puppy and scratches his chin. "Hi Pretzel! You cutie!"

"I'll go get Aman," Kartik announces, a murderous glare accompanies it as Danish doesn't look up since he's busy playing with Pretzel. He storms his way to the bedroom, Aman's still soundly asleep without a care of the world.

Kartik rips the blanket off of his body, positively fuming. "Wake the fuck up, asshole," he angrily yells, smacking the mans butt for added effect. Aman jerks awake in bed. "Kya- Kya hua?" (Wha- What happened?) Aman stutters incoherently. He squints up at Kartik and rubs his stomach. 

"Look at you acting all innocent."

"Huh?"

"What the fuck is this Danish guy doing here? Are you trying to give Pretzel away to him. It's fine if you don't want my son but I'm still alive and I won't let you separate him from me," Kartik blurts out, the creases on his forehead and determination in his eyes amplify the seriousness of his anger.

Aman exhales deeply. "Tell him I'll be out in 15," Aman says as his pyjama clad ass makes his way to the bathroom. 

Kartik wants to punch a pull, maybe even break some expensive item in this household. How dare Aman dismiss his words like they're worthless and trash? He shimmied away from Kartik all nonchalantly like his anger means nothing, like he's just rambling without a point.

He'll fight tooth and nail to let Pretzel stay with them. He'll wage a war if he has to but Pretzel won't leave their house, period.

The scowl on Kartik's face doesn't disappear as he walks back out into the living room. "Come here, Pretzel," he says. Pretzel scampers over to him and Kartik picks him.

"Aman will see you in a while," Kartik angrily mutters as he walks out into the balcony with Pretzel in his arms. "You're not going anywhere, alright?" Kartik softly mumbles. Pretzel looks up at him, his big eyes sparkling. 

He licks Kartik's cheek, leaving an array of slobber all over it. It makes Kartik let out a giggle as he wipes his cheek. "Aye Pretzel don't do this," he lovingly says to an over-enthusiastic puppy.

  
  


"Hey Danish!" Aman interjects enthusiastically once he's in the living room. Kartik's ears perked up at the sound, he stalks over to them and finds Aman hugging the man like they're buddies. _The freakin' audacity,_ Kartik thinks.

Aman walks over to Kartik and drags him beside him and holds him by the waist. "This is Kartik Singh, my boyfriend." 

"It's nice to meet you, Kartik," Danish greets politely. "Likewise," Kartik replies, managing the fakest smile he can. He glares at Aman, detaching his arm from around his waist.

"Pretzel and I are gonna go to the park. You two have fun," Kartik mutters spitefully.

"How am I supposed to help you guys train him if you both leave?" Danish asks, confused. "Huh?" Kartik lowers Pretzel onto the floor. "What do you mean?" he eyes Aman suspiciously.

"I reconnected with Danish on Instagram recently. When I found out he's quite good with dogs and has trained a few of them, I asked him to come over and teach us a few tips and tricks. Did I do something wrong?"

Kartik is left completely flabbergasted. He opens and closes his mouth rapidly like a fish out of water gasping for air. "I…. I'm…..I thought."

Aman bursts out laughing at the way Kartik turns red all over with embarrassment. "Did you really think I'd give him away just like that without talking to you? I'm offended."

Aman gives him a side hug, pecking his neck he says, "I know how much you love him. I could never do that. Besides, his tiny paws dug their way to my heart too." He kisses Pretzel's paw and smiles up at Aman. 

A stray tear cascades down Kartik's cheek. 

_Been waiting for you to say this for so long,_ he says in his head. "I hate you. Pehle nahi bol sakte they ye?" (Couldn't you have infotinf me earlier?) Kartik smacks Aman's chest.

"He's our son. I wouldn't trade either of you for any amount of riches," Aman whispers. "Neither would I," Kartik replies softly, kissing Aman's forehead.


	3. Of polaroids and plants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Foreshadowing alert!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, this is kinda incoherent during some bits but you'll understand it better during the latter chapters.

**_25th August 2019_ **

The empty space on the bed that was supposed to be occupied by Kartik feels cold as Aman's hands feel around the spot. A soft moan leaves his mouth as he clenches his eyes while stretching his limbs to get rid of the sleep. His mornings are usually welcomed by Kartik still pressed to his chest as Pretzel snuggles close to Kartik. 

Ever since Aman got rid of the rule stating - 'Pretzel isn't allowed to climb any of their furniture', Pretzel makes sure to always perch himself beside Aman every chance he gets. No matter how small the space, Pretzel always manages to squeeze his body and accommodate himself comfortably in the space next to Aman. 

Aman found it a little weird at first, how Pretzel took an instant liking to him ever since the stormy incident but now he believes he wouldn't want it any other way. Kartik whines sometimes about how Pretzel is a traitor for choosing to cuddle with Aman instead of him. 

It just makes Aman voluntarily smirk at Kartik, looking all smug as he unapologetically flaunts the fact that he's Pretzel's favourite and that there's nothing Kartik can do about it. Pretzel seamlessly blends in their life and completes them. Aman is way too fond of the dog than he'd like to admit but he wouldn't want it any other way. 

As he gets out of bed, he groggily rubs his eyes to clear his vision as best as he can. Once he gets accustomed to the bright light pouring into the room past the curtains and doesn't have to squint against it, he gets out of the bedroom in search of his boyfriend. 

Without a doubt, he knows exactly where he'll find his boyfriend at this time of the day. He stalks over to the balcony conjoining the living room. Despite having taken measured and light steps across the room, Kartik turns around to greet Aman just as he's almost a few inches away from Kartik. 

This has been a recurring event in the course of two weeks. Aman wakes up to an empty bed, his boyfriend and dog nowhere in sight only to find them chilling in the veranda with the newest addition to the household, or what Kartik would like to call 'his newest babies' - plants, just loads and loads of plants lined up in the balcony and all over the house. 

One would argue that the house has now turned into a faux nursery with the way the potted plants have been littered around at a few selective spots in the house. This obsession of Kartik's started ever since the two of them watched a series known as 'My Engineer'. 

One of the characters in the series happens to be a plant enthusiast. His dormitory and home encompass plants of all shapes and sizes. 

_"His plants are pretty and so is he!"_ Aman hears Kartik announce one day _. "I'm kind of interested in knowing whether having so many plants is really that calming and addicting or not."_

Aman dismisses his musings that day as a fleeting moment of interest that would evaporate with a blink of an eye since taking care of those many plants is quite the task. Now, here he is, 3 weeks later Kartik stuck to his words and has successfully decorated their apartment with plants of all kinds, succulents, potted plants, terrariums, you name it.

Aman finds it quite endearing to watch Kartik speak to his plants. When Aman watched King speak to his plants in the series Aman found it quite funny and amusing but while he witnesses Kartik doing the same, his heart swells up tenfold with an influx of affection for him. Maybe Ram feels exactly like that for King in My Engineer, love does things to you. 

"Good morning!"

Kartik places the succulent plant in his hand back where it belongs as he greets Aman with a kiss to his cheek. "Sleep well?" Aman caresses the side of his head, running his fingers through Kartik's silky locks. "Not too well. But it's all good. At least I have all these babies to talk to when I can't sleep."

Aman nods and glances around to look at the plants aligned in a single file across the balcony. "They're growing nicely, huh? I can't believe you kept your word and actually did well."

Kartik snickers quietly, shaking his head a little while doing so. "It's not a tough task. All they need is sufficient nutrition and efficient nurturing, sprinkle a few ounces of love and you're good to go." 

Aman stands on his toes to lean further up. He rests his forehead against Kartik's and let's Kartik hug his waist tightly as they leave no gap between them. "Watching **_life_ ** blossom and bloom in my care, be it Pretzel or these plants, makes me feel more accomplished as an individual. Like, this sits right with my purpose in life right now."

With a soft smile on Aman's lips, he closes his eyes and let's the calmness settle between them. Watching this sudden switch in his boyfriend's interest sometimes feels a little unreal but he trusts that his boyfriend knows what he's doing. He doesn't dislike it, not really.

It feels like he has been subjected to a drastic makeover. Kartik used to be way too carefree while he was in a set-up far from his professional life. Now, the vibes he gives off are those of a nurturing parent always filled with love for their young ones, always alert and extra careful. 

Aman likes it, yes, this newer and softer side of Kartik is something Aman can never get enough of. There's just one thing that really bothers Aman - the bags under his eyes. Kartik has been waking up too early for his liking. Hell, Kartik loves his sleep too much to sacrifice it for anything as trivial as _''wanting to inhale a breath of fresh air to stay healthy"_ , yes, those are Kartik's exact words. 

Aman can see through his bullshit but he decides not to intervene too much, Kartik can tend to be too closed off sometimes if pushed too much. Instead, Aman decides to provide comfort in other ways. He sings Kartik and Pretzel a lullaby to help him sleep better, he may not be the best cook but he tries to cook his favourite meals. In short he tries to spoil him rotten to show him he's here for him.

One might think Aman's overthinking, maybe that's the truth, it really could be Aman letting his mind run wild without a reason due to a slight switch in Kartik's sleeping schedule but he still wants Kartik to know he's here for him through his actions.

  
  
  


**_30th September 2019_ **

  
  


"Say Cheese!"

Aman, the unsuspecting victim nestled in a chair pushed to one side of the balcony, his glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, a focused look on his face as he types away on his laptop, clearly busy with his workload, doesn't know what he's in for. 

He looks up in a daze blissfully unaware of the polaroid camera held in Kartik's hands, ready to spring in action when Kartik believes his point of focus is ready to be captured.

"Perfect!"

With a click of a finger, a flash goes off as the camera skillfully captures the sight before it and Kartik successfully snaps Aman's picture before the man can protest. Once the final product is in his hands, he marvels at the view gracing his eyes. 

The picture holds Aman, his hair slightly tousled, evidence of Aman's hands having twiddled and carded through it while he stresses out over his presentation. A few loose strands of his hair fall over his forehead making him look kind of a little too hot for Kartik to resist. 

The plants in the background of the picture complement him very well. The greens, pinks and blues only accentuate his features further. Kartik would like to call the picture a work of art and he knows it's not even an exaggeration at this point. He doesn't need further proof to validate his statement. Aman is nothing short of a perfect model in his eyes, period.

"Why'd you spring up on me out of nowhere? " Aman whines. "My look is all messed up and I probably look like a homeless dude in the picture," he complains further. "How dare you? You're not allowed to talk about my boyfriend like this. He's the most attractive man on earth, you hear me?" Kartik cuts in, his hands on his waist imitating the typical 'asian mom stance'.

"Alright, sir! I surrender, I won't badmouth him further." 

The two laugh in unison at their antics. Aman relaxes a little, this interaction bringing him calm as he's in the middle of hurriedly finishing up his workload so as to not have too much work pending later. 

"Where'd this come from?" Aman inquires pointing at the camera. "The order arrived just now," Kartik replies, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

"Quick. Take a picture of Pretzel and me."

Kartik settles down on the ground beside Pretzel with a loud thud. The dog bolts upright at the sudden movement beside him. His stance eases when he sees Kartik and he happily barks at him once. Kartik kisses his head and gives him a nice long scratch behind his ears and under his chin. 

Gently lifting up his paws at the front, Kartik makes him stand on his hind feet. Kartik happily boops his nose against him while he smiles broadly. Aman chooses that exact moment to capture the love shared by them. The shutter goes off and the flash reflects in Pretzel's eyes giving him an extraterrestrial visual effect. 

Thankfully, it doesn't affect the actual image and the polaroid turns out to be normal. It captures an absolutely heartwarming sight. "Pen down a little something onto it." 

Kartik states up at him confused. "I love it. I'd like to carry this picture around with me wherever I go. It'll feel like you two are right next to me," Aman explains. "When did I become so cheesy, again?" Aman follows up his question with gagging noises. 

"The cheesiness is good while it lasts. Believe me, you'll agree with it soon," Kartik adds. "Sure bro," Aman counters, highly doubting his statement. "Someday you'll look back on this day and say **'those were the days'**."

  
  
  
  


**_19th October 2019_ **

A firm slap to his face by a squishy object wakes Aman up from his peaceful sleep. The pillow hitting his face makes him bolt up in bed with his hair, an unkempt mess and his bloodshot eyes struggling to stay open. Before his mind can process anything, Kartik and Pretzel spring up on him to shake him awake. 

"Let's go to the beach -each, let's go get away," Kartik singsongs, bobbing up and down on his bed while trying to impersonate the rapper. The jet black sky outside lit up by the moon lets Aman know that it's still the middle of the night. "Get out! I need to sleep. Time toh dekh yaar, Kartik. I swear I'm gonna disown," Aman replies annoyed before he pulls the blanket over his head and tries to go back to sleep.

Once Kartik sets his mind on something, he'll get it done one way or another, by hook or crook, it doesn't matter which. He steps foot on the bedroom floor and stretches his hands out before in order to crack his knuckles. He inhales deeply and prepares his body for what is to come next.

Gently pulling the blanket off of Aman's body, Kartik reaches under him. With a firm grip, he hoists Aman off the bed and lifts him, holding him close to his chest. Aman smacks his chest annoyed. "Put me down right now, asshole!"

"You're coming with me, whether it's on foot on bridal style is for you to choose," Kartik states matter-of-factly. Aman rolls his eyes. "Put me down. I'll drive." Aman huffs while walking away with Pretzel by his side.

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


The blanket spread out below them serves them comfort as they lay down on it under the stars and the unusually enlarged moon illuminating the night sky. Kartik and Aman's heads rest on the blanket, right beside each other with a gap of a few inches between them. Their bodies run parallel to each other but face opposite ways. 

Kartik, with his body pointing westwards, spreads his arms out on the blanket and lets the cool winds bring him peace. Aman, on the other hand, has his arms folded behind his head and gazes up at the sky, enjoying the beauty of the endless sky in all its glory.

"This actually feels really nice, just the sound of waves clashing against the shore, the occasional gust of window blowing across the beach, and you, Pretzel and I, no one to bother us."

"Kabhi kabhi main bhi sahi ho sakta hu, Aman," (I cancbe right sometimes, you know) Kartik mutters, his eyes still shut as he silently let's himself be absorbed in the wind's whistling and sound of the gushing waves. 

Pretzel had been happily running around the beach ever since they arrived. Kartik had never seen the dog feel ever so elated before. He let's Pretzel run free but makes sure he's always within close range. When Pretzel finally feels a little exhausted and runs over to them, Aman lifts his head up to look at him running over to them.

He settles down on the blanket right Aman and presses hiils chin to Aman's stomach. Aman can feel his body shaking and him heaving heavy breaths as he lies down beside Aman. He closes his eyes and caresses Pretzel's fur, calming him down.

Kartik lifts his head up from his spot and tilts his head upwards to look at the two of them. He reaches up and gently cards his fingers through Pretzel's fur and pets his head. "Look at how much our little baby has grown up," he comments while getting slightly teary-eyed.

"You've looked after him well."

"We," Kartik corrects him." We've looked after him well. Why else would he be so clingy with you?" 

Aman cheeses at him. His eyes crinkling up as he marvels at the truth, that yes, he got over his initial dislike of dogs and was able to earn Pretzel's love and trust. 

"I think you only care about him now. You don't love me anymore," Kartik adds, pouting his lips up at Aman.

"Shut up! You know I love you the most," Aman retorts.

They turn their heads to face each other and Aman pulls Kartik's face closer to him so he can kiss it. Their current position makes the kiss feel a little unusual and difficult but their kiss still feels warm and filling nonetheless.

As they break away from the kiss and decide to head home, Pretzel saunters slightly ahead of them as they wrap the blanket and dust their clothes. After making sure they aren't leaving anything behind, they make their way to their car.

They leave behind their carvings on the damp sand closer to the shore : **K + A + P** carved against the wet sand followed by three hearts. While the trio drives away in their car in the solemn night, the waves flow closer and closer to the alphabets. 

The design on the sand had taken Kartik and Aman quite long to create as they shined the flashlight on their phone on the sand to create it. Unfortunately, they forgot to click a picture of it before leaving and the waves wash away the single ' **K'** first, followed by ' **A'** and then the ' **P'** and the tiny heart in no time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might upload the last two chapters together so it might take me a while to update.


	4. A letter to my beloved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I said the next chapters would be the last but I've decided to split things up a little
> 
> ps - I'm no medical expert so I'm really sorry if this doesn't seem seem quite right

**_9th February 2020_ **

  
  


The day starts out like every Sunday ever. The same old routine consisting of Kartik and Aman sleeping in a little longer as they cuddle and enjoy their stolen moments in each other's arms. When Pretzel decides they've had their moment he hops onto the bed and squeezes himself between the two. 

The dog sandwiched between them enjoys a few moments of bliss as he feels warmth radiating from Kartik and Aman. Once he has had his fill, he enthusiastically licks Aman's face to wake him up and paws at Kartik's arms.

That does the trick. The two finally leave the bed, albeit reluctantly, and get around to getting some work done around the house. 

But that's not it. They go around doing their normal Sunday chores. Kartik prepares the breakfast, since Sundays are a part of his duty as decided by the Karman schedule they've created for themselves. 

He prepares a breakfast fit for a king. They spend their chill morning breakfast hours in comfortable silence and occasionally engaging in conversation. Kartik scrolls and switches between three apps on his phone as he consumes the meal. 

Aman on the other hand, reads the news headlines on his phone while sipping on his cup of tea and occasionally informs Kartik as well. Pretzel blissfully laps at his porridge as soon as Kartik places the bowl before him. 

Aman sits down on the couch in the living room looking for a movie for them to watch together once they're done with breakfast. Kartik has been reading a novel everyday for the past few days after returning home from work. He excuses himself to go get comfortable in bed while reading it. Aman figures he'll return later when it's time for them to binge watch. 

Around 2 hours later, Kartik emerges out of the bedroom with a bookbag on his shoulder and what appears to be some kind of envelope in his hand. He makes his way over to Aman and drops the envelope onto his lap. 

"Read this carefully. I'll return in an hour, I have some business to take care of. See you."

He cups Aman's face in his hands and drops a peck on the crown of his head. Without waiting for Aman to thread a reply or inquire further, Kartik disappears out the door. Aman feels goosebumps crawl up his skin as he pulls out the pages placed in the envelope. 

He doesn't know what to expect as he unfolds the papers, his mind thinks they're some documents but he can't make any connection. 

A letter. A lengthy handwritten letter. 

His fingers turn slightly clammy as he braces himself for whatever the letters are about to disclose. 

  
  
  
  
  


**_Dear Aman_ ** _ ,  _

_ Firstly and most importantly, I love you now and I always will. _

_ Now let's get down to business, shall we? I'd like to start with Pretzel first.  _

_ Did you ever wonder why I brought him home that day? I mean, of course, you know me as someone with zero impulse control but still, why didn't you ever ask me why I suddenly appeared at the door with him in my arms? _

_ The answer is simple. _

_ Companionship.  _

_ They say dogs are a man's best friend. Wouldn't you agree now? Yes, you really really disliked dogs at first but don't you love him with all your heart now? He's your greatest companion after me, and that's exactly what this was about - me wanting you to have someone around when times seem tough and I'm not here.  _

_ I guess I can say my plan has been successful. Good job, Kartik! *pats my own back*  _

_ I don't know if you can open your heart to someone after me but at least I won't have to worry about you being all alone when I'm gone, right? Pretzel will be your anchor, please look after him well.  _

_ Pretzel will make you smile when I'm not around. I don't want you to end up as an alcoholic or worse, a druggie, when I'm not around. Having Pretzel around you will remind you I've left behind a piece of me. It'll make you realise his life is dependent on you, maybe you'll fall back into your usual routine because of him, you know?  _

_ You two are going to be interdependent on one another in a while so please make sure you both are equally healthy or else I'll be really mad at you. _

_ You must've guessed what the main purpose of this letter is by now but let me state it anyway.  _

_ My days are numbered. I don't have much time remaining in life. I don't have much time remaining with you. I'm sorry I'm breaking this news to you through a letter, you deserved to know it in person right when the bad news was delivered to me initially.  _

_ I'm guilty of having hidden this news from you for 8 whole months. Nothing I say will justify my actions, I don't know if you'll forgive me, ever. I'm weak and the news left me distraught. How was I supposed to tell you a tumor has been detected in my brain without seeing you have a breakdown before me?  _

_ The chances of me coming out of the surgery alive were very very slim. I didn't want to undergo surgery just to lose my life earlier than if I'd just let the tumor be and go on with my life. The doctor prescribed me a few medications to help ease the pain, so that I could still face each day with a smile.  _

_ You were worried that I wasn't getting enough sleep. You never explicitly stated it but I could sense the worry in your behavior. It's not that I couldn't sleep, I just didn't want to sleep.  _

_ I believed the more I'd sleep, the faster the days would go by. I'm not afraid of death, not really. I've made peace with the fact that I could swing out of here any day. What I'm really afraid of is the fact that my time spent with you is running short. So, I've been sleeping a little less than usual just so that I can prolong the time I'm awake and appreciate the little things in life.  _

_ Speaking of little things, the plants I've grown in these past few months were never part of my grand scheme of things initially. I genuinely grew them for myself. I found a great sense of purpose as I saw the saplings bud out of the seeds I planted.  _

_ It has always been really calming and fulfilling to watch them grow and bloom. With time, I realised why I had this sudden urge to nurture them. _

_ I see myself in them. Weird as it sounds, it's true.  _

_ On one hand, my days on this earth are slowly running out, on the flip side, the flora I planted are growing better and healthier each day. I feel like I pour my energy and the last happy bits of my soul into these plants as I look after them everyday.  _

_ I know you were kind of annoyed with them being littered around our apartment but I've seen you take care of them like you look after Pretzel, with joy. So what if I don't live long enough? At least I'll die knowing I brought these plants to life and watched them bring some contentment to yours when I'm gone. _

_ Pulling up with the polaroid camera was no coincidence either. I wanted to document our happy moments. Clicking pictures on a phone and having a physical copy of the pictures bring out two very different emotions. _

_ I know it has to do with sentiments. I needed to immortalize our softest moments with this camera for you. I wanted you to see how beautiful you are through my lens. The way I captured some of your most crackhead, carefree and soft pictures through it, will always remind you how I looked at you, with love, just loads and loads of love. The cute selfies we've taken and pictures of pretzel with the plants, is something I'm sure you'll want to look back on. _

_ Writing this without breaking down completely has been as difficult for me as hard it is for you to read it. I'm not scared for myself, not really. It's just that I don't want you hurting.  _

_ If and when I'm gone, I want you to think about me with a dorky grin on your face. If you shed a single tear, I swear I'll return from the afterlife to smack you. You're not allowed to cry, do you understand?  _

_ Lastly, I can't believe I'm writing this, it's pretty hilarious to me lmao. Anyway, don't incinerate my remains please? Bury me instead. I would say bring me flowers to my grave but that would be a waste, wouldn't it?  _

_ To conclude this, I'd like to say that please don't for a single moment cuss at yourself for not having realised that I've been hiding something. My main purpose behind not letting you know earlier is not only because I didn't want you to feel broken and helpless but also due to the fact that I didn't want to see you treat me differently. Treating me like the same old chaotic Kartik during these times has honestly been a blessing, so thank you very much.  _

_ I love you the most. _

  
  
  


**_Your Beloved,_ **

**** **_Kartik_ **

  
  



	5. Baby let me love you goodbye

Aman emptily stares at the pages in his hand. He feels numb and on the brink of exploding due to too many emotions bubbling in him, simultaneously. 

Beside him, Pretzel paws at his arms as he asks for Aman's attention. Aman let's his hands caress Pretzel's head as on autopilot, all while dead inside. How is he supposed to go on knowing all of this? 

He wants to scream and scream and scream more 'til he passes out. All of this information fed to him through the letter makes him feel overwhelmed. He knows he should be crying so that the pain inside comes flowing out with the tears, they might make him feel lighter but he can't get himself to weep.

He tries to stand up. His legs feel wobbly as he tries to take a step ahead and falls on the floor with a thud, his back hitting the couch. 

He gives up and resigns to the situation, stretching his legs out on the floor. His head hands low as he reflects over the situation, hating the fact that he has been so blind to Kartik's condition all along. He wants to curse at himself and maybe hit his head against the wall for being so careless but he can't seem to move his body an inch. 

He doesn't know how long he sat there with his body slinking against the couch. The sound of the front door opening pulls Aman out of his reverie as he sees Kartik show himself after having dumped this life-altering information on him in the form of the lengthy letter. 

Aman hurriedly arises from his seat on the floor and walks over to him.  **_The fucker still has the audacity to smile at me despite everything that happened,_ ** Aman thinks to himself. 

"Ka- Kartik-"

The crack in his voice proves that the anguish in Aman's heart is finally flowing out in some form. 

"Main.... Tum...... Hum...... Kaise.... Kyu.... ''

Aman struggles to find coherence in the moment as he tries not to break down, but all his senses shut down slowly as he is consumed by gut-wrenching pain in his heart. Agonisingly painful as it is, he tries to smile for Kartik, to show him that he's going to stay strong for the both of them but fails. 

Instead he envelopes his boyfriend in a bone crushing hug and pours all his feelings into it. He wants to stay like this forever, tightly hugging Kartik close to his chest and protecting him from all harm and adversity. Kartik caresses Aman's back as he clings tightly to him, he can feel the tears wetting his shirt but he doesn't care. 

Kartik gently runs his fingers through Aman's hair and massages his scalp as the man continues to sob in his arms. Kartik's shirt bunched between Aman's tightly clenched fists crumple and crease as Aman refuses to let go of Kartik. 

"Shh.... let it all out," Kartik mumbles against the crown of Aman's head. 

Aman wants to smack himself up the head for having Kartik console him instead of the other way round. Soon he composes himself again and lifts his head off of Kartik's shoulder. He rubs his face, desperately wanting to wipe out the tear tracks as he comes face to face with Kartik again. 

"I'm not gonna cry. I'm strong and so are you. We'll get through this," Aman says as he cups Kartik's cheeks and stares into his eyes. He bites his bottom lip hard to stop it from quivering.

"Can we sit down? I got you something"

Aman nods and guides them to the couch. Kartik pulls out a thick scrapbook from the book bag he had taken along with him as he left Aman the letters. 

"I made you a little something out of all of the pictures we've taken. The compilation consists of small notes related to things that happened prior to or after the pictures were taken. I hope you like it. Here."

Aman takes the book from Kartik's hand and opens it on his lap. Observing the numerous pictures complete with anecdotes and doodles makes him smile a little despite everything. 

He entwines the fingers with those of Kartik's right hand and gives it a gentle squeeze as he flips through the pages. Kartik rests his head on Aman's shoulder and babbles about a few things, Aman wholeheartedly engages in the conversation as they reminisce over their best times together. 

"Remember this?" Kartik points towards a picture of them at a resort. They look young and radiant as their sides press close to each other, soft smiles on their faces as they practically glow with happiness. 

"Of course I do!" 

This particular snap had been taken when Kartik and Aman were out at a resort with their friends. They were college students back then and had a great time there doing carefree things that boys at that age do. 

"You took off your shirt in the pool and had all the ladies drooling over you," Aman adds, annoyed. "Can't really blame them though. You looked ravishing with all that water glistening over your smooth chest."

Kartik laughs at the way Aman describes him. "Shut up! You're exaggerating." Aman shakes his head no. "I wanted to ravage you roughly enough to have you limping for a day or two," Aman explains. "You should have! You know I like it rough," Kartik mutters sensually against Aman's neck and nibbles on it. 

"Kartik, stop... '' Aman says after a moan escaped his lips. Kartik refuses to halt his teasing as his lips slither upwards and stop at Aman's ear. He kisses behind Aman's ear as his fingers lightly massage the other ear. Aman silently lets him do what he likes with him. 

Kartik inches his mouth closer to Aman and kisses his lips. The kiss starts slow, their lips gently moving against one another, soon it turns heated and clumsy as their tongues battle for dominance. Kartik tugs Aman's t-shirt, wanting to get rid of it so he can feel more of his skin. 

Realising what Kartik has on his mind, Aman breaks away from. the kiss. "We have to have lunch yet. You probably still have medicines to take as well," Aman states as he makes his way to the kitchen, leaving behind an annoyed Kartik.


	6. The Origin of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't have a backstory planned for Pretzel when I started writing this fic, and i didn't plan on writing one either, but here we are. Who knows what's gonna happen next? anyway, i hope yall like this!
> 
> shoutout to @smzs_fanfics_fanpage on IG, if had pretty much abandoned this fic but then they give me a boost of motivation yeehaw sjkdsjsdk

Kartik drops his dead weight on the park bench. His limbs loosely plop up against the backrest and he lets his eyes clenched tightly. His stomach churns with anxiety and discomfort. 

The visit to the doctor's turned out to be a lot more eventful than Kartik was prepared for. There's a lot to unpack. On one hand, he believes he would've appreciated some company as the doctor pinched his nerve between the appendages of his medical expertise and popped his bubble. 

At the same time, he was glad Aman wasn't there by his side when the doctor broke the news to him. How does one manage to not break down completely in front of their partner? He didn't want to let himself put up a vulnerable and fragile front during moments when he must try and fight with his everything, for his own sake, and the sake of Aman. 

Death is inevitable. Immortality is but fictional. These are the universal truths and there's no denying it. He knows he has to die one way or another, and nothing can ever stop it. When life's clock ticks its last, you cannot manipulate it any further to prolong your time.

But, the thing with death is- one can't really tell when it might overstep your threshold and take you along with it. One can't foresee it. Yet, we plan our entire lives as if we know the future, even though it isn't ours to tell. 

We worry in the present moment so we don't have to suffer in the future. We plan for the future as if we are sure there is going to be one in the first place. But how does one know for sure that tomorrow is a possibility?

In a way, we have set goals in our mind because that's how we've been conditioned to think and work. If there wasn't a 'tomorrow' to look forward to, you wouldn't care about today either, and probably waste away your days.

In your mind, you have your entire timeline planned- birth, education, job, marriage, kids, old age and death. You think you've got it all under control. That is how one would ideally want their life to go. Do we have the power to make it work that way though?

Say, if this 'flow chart' were to be disturbed, that would throw you off balance, wouldn't it? If death preceded marriage and in turn kids and old age, think to yourself would you still be satisfied with the life you have lived?

We're all so busy preparing for a future we can't foresee that we forget to live in the moment and cherish it. You aren't living. You are merely  _ existing.  _

When death comes for you, you would most probably worry about all the things you have yet to do, you wouldn't be satisfied with all the things you have achieved. Little do you realise that every tiny achievement has its own value. You may not have spanned the tallest summit, but at least you were able to give it your best, and climb another. Maybe it isn't as massive, but it's still something you can and must be proud of.

You would most probably wait for those ginormous achievements to happen so you can feel a sense of accomplishment, and you would tend to overlook the smaller ones. This leaves you insatiable because you never feel like you're enough.

Life has the same clockwork. You want to live a little more. You're never satisfied because you feel like you have so much left to do. In doing so, you overlook the little everyday joys. So, when death finally knocks at your door you don't want to let go. 

In other words, you're not afraid of the concept of death itself, but the fact that if you do die early, you will no longer have a chance to do all those things you've planned. 

In a similar way, Kartik isn't afraid of death. He never really was. It's the thought of letting go of Aman that made the news of his tumor unbearable. He envisioned his death to be when he's grey and old, the same as Aman. He has so many things to witness with the love of his life by his side.

As he sits there contemplating on- well, a lot of things, there isn't a beginning or an end to his worries, a puppy trots over to him and paws at his feet. Kartik's face instantly breaks into a smile. The absence of a collar indicates the fact that he's probably a stray dog, but he sees no sign of his mother around.

"Are you lost, little guy?" Kartik cooes. Picking him up, Kartik lets the puppy sit in his lap. He caresses the furball and coos sweet nothings to him. Somewhere down the line, Kartik's eyes begin to pool with tears. He's not too sure why.

It could be because he has had to process too many clunks of information, or maybe it's simply the fact that the tiny puppy is adorable beyond Kartik's capacity.

Whatever the reason be, he feels his heart pound quickly in his chest as the tears stain his cheek. He places the pup beside him and closes his eyes again. Deep breaths enter and exit through his nostrils so he can calm himself down again.

From his peripheral vision, he sees a hand passing a tissue over to him. Kartik bites his bottom lip. He gives the young guy before him an awkward smile and proceeds to accept the tissue after whispering a soft thank you. 

As soon as the guy sits down, the puppy skips into his lips, happily wags his tail and tries hopping noses with him. "Is he yours?" Kartik inquires. The guy shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly. "Are you alright?" he asks Kartik. In turn, Kartik shrugs his shoulders in reply.

"Why isn't he wearing a collar?"

"I can't really keep him. I rescued him from these bigger dogs that were bullying him the other day and he has been following me ever since. I would love to keep him, but sadly I live in a dormitory that doesn't allow animals. I do wanna make sure he gets a good home though."

Kartik makes grabby hands at the puppy, it makes him run back into Kartik's arms. "Um…..I didn't catch your name yet, I think." Kartik asks. "I'm Arjun," the guy replies. "I'm Kartik. Well…..can I….keep it?" Kartik inquires, his voice shaky.

So what if he has what- a year at most to live? He'll bring joy into the life of this little beast who has just started his life. Convincing Aman to keep him will be admittedly difficult, but Kartik firmly believes there's no ocean too deep if you have enough determination.

"I have a house big enough for him to live comfortably, and I'll look after him like a child. I'll have to convince my boyf-" Kartik bites his tongue. He knows he needs to be careful while spilling such information in front of strangers. "I mean my partner a little, maybe, but that won't really be an issue I promise."

Something in Arjun's previously upset looking face shifts once Kartik is done speaking. To Kartik's, it appears to be a victory, all they now have to do is say the word.

"Were you about to say boyfriend?"

Kartik stiffly shuts his mouth and shakes his head no. "Well, I guess not. I better get go-"

"No, please wait- I'm not a homophobe!" Arjun exclaims before Kartik can up and leave. Kartik dramatically heaves sigh and lets his hands stop back to their previous position leaning against the backrest. 

"That's a relief. Honestly, I was in no mood to deal with a homophobe after starting off my day on the wrong foot." 

Kartik doesn't expect to see Arjun's expression morph from that of a forlorn puppy to that of a starry-eyed child outside a candy store. Truth be told, he doesn't understand why Arjun has the kind of reaction Kartik has never seen before.

"It must be fun, right?" Arjun smacks his palms against Kartik's leg with much vigour. " Living with your boyfriend and all that jazz, I mean," he adds, sombrely this time.

A thought brews in Kartik's head. There's no way to know if he's right or not, but he'd like to take this chance to gamble and figure out the reason behind the boy's sudden hype. 

"Are you by any chance attracted to guys, or, more specifically, do you currently have a crush on a guy?" 

Arjun's cheeks turn a light shade of scarlet at the curveball thrown his way. He darts his eyes elsewhere and silently nods. Kartik chuckles a little and lightly smacks his shoulder. "That's adorable! I can give you tips if you want," Kartik teases.

"Please tell me it's not a straight boy. I've been through that mess when I was your age," Kartik groans and smacks his own forehead. Arjun giggles a little at the inherent dramaticness of his reaction. 

"Oh, would you look at the time," Arjun tries derailing, he shows Kartik the time on his phone's screen. "Time to head home man." He stands up and skadaddles away. If only he knew that Kartik can be stickier than an octopus!

"Not so soon, young man," Kartik declares, following suit. "You still need to tell me about this crush of yours. Also, this puppy is mine now, right?" Pretzel trots between them and stares back and forth.

"That depends on how civil you remain till I reach my dorm " Arjun sends a meaningful stern look his way. Kartik shrugs and lets his hands oscillate back and forth by his side. 

Arjun inhales deeply, filling his lungs with a generous amount of oxygen. "I think it kind of was love at first sight for me. No wait," Arjun's cheeks warm up again, and he stumbles in his footsteps a little.

"Love is too strong a word, but I do think I thought he was cute the first time I saw him. He had stars in his eyes, a smile brighter than pearls, perfect height for cuddles and backhugs, the most perfectly squishy mochi cheeks, and a voice sweeter than honey. But that doesn't mean I'm in love, no, I just think he's this all-round perfect human who's compassionate and kind and-"

Kartik crosses arms across his chest and shakes his head as he waits for Arjun to finish his rambling. "I get it, boy. You're _ not  _ in love." Kartik teasingly wiggles his eyebrows.

"Maybe a little," Arjun admits looking straight ahead. "Kavin is really different from any guy I've ever met before. He's adorable and snarky yet loveable and has this dark sense of humour. He loves his skateboard more than anything else. There's this guy at uni that picks on him but I always tell him off." 

Kartik takes a few moments to properly process the information. "Seems like a nice guy. Thank God you have better taste than I had back then. I'd always fall for those hot jocks kinda guys but admired them from afar."

"We also kind of….um....kissed."

Kartik pauses in his tracks. "No way! What happened after?" 

"We kissed in the rain, and I scurried away soon after. That was kind of towards the beginning stages of our friendship, we never actually discussed it later. It was months ago."

"Is it because you were maybe grappling with your sexuality? Because that's valid."

"That is true. I've been struggling to be comfortable in my skin. I always pushed these feelings down, but something about Kavin just won't let me resist the feelings. I broke up with my girlfriend recently because I could no longer lie to myself and call myself straight. I have never liked girls and never will. It's been around five days since I last spoke to him though, I'm scared I might impulsively confess or something. I don't wanna be rejected."

Kartik gives Arjun's shoulder a comforting squeeze. "Do you need a moment? I'll let you be." Arjun shakes his head no and lightly dabs his eyes. "I'm fine."

"I think you should let him know ," Kartik notes. "We're really close friends. What if I ruin our friendship though?" "What if he likes you too?" Kartik retorts.

"The way I see it, it's a win-win situation. If he likes you too, you get to date him. If he doesn't like you, that's okay. At least you won't harvest false hope in your heart, and will get over it in a while because now you know his answer for sure. You won't have to worry your head over it again. Either way, you won't lose a treasured friend over this, Kavin would be a fool to do that, and I'm assuming he's not that kind of guy."

Arjun casts his eyes to the floor and lets his hands travel to the confine of his pockets as they inch closer and closer to his dorm. "I'm scared. I don't think I'm ready to do this," Arjun whispers.

"If not now then when? There is no 'tomorrow', Arjun. Any time is as good as now to confess. You never know when you might lose the right chance. So what if he doesn't return your feelings, at least he'll be glad to know you aren't distancing yourself from him because you hate him, rather because you love him more than anything and you're scared of losing him. Trust me, once he distances himself from you, you won't be able to forgive yourself. Just go and tell him, damnit. If not as a boyfriend, at least you'll still have him as your best friend in your life, and that bond is unbreakable."

"Your way of viewing this is so- I don't know, how do you have such a positive outlook?" That look of adoration that Arjun had on his face previously, returns, but it turns softer this time, like he admires Kartik for who he is, and wants to emulate it in his own life. 

"Think of me as a man on the brink of death. Just trying to let that optimism keep me afloat." Kartik's words are gospel, but Arjun doesn't catch on, since he thinks it's Kartik's sense of humour and doesn't have a vial of genuineness in it. Arjun chuckles. 

"This is where we depart. My dorm is here," Arjun points towards the aforementioned dormitory and proceeds to awkwardly scratch his neck. "Pretzel is yours. I know I don't need to be worried about him anymore, I know you look after him well."

"Aman better be ready to be a dog-daddy with me," Kartik jokes. 

Little did they know that this tiny puppy Pretzel that led to their meeting would go on to bring so much meaning to both their lives.

Interwoven events lead to certain crazy situations and it makes you wonder how on Earth did things end up this way? That's fate's design for you- immaculate and unpredictable. 


	7. Letting Go

The crisp winter air sends chills down Aman's spine as he picks his discarded jacket off of the park bench and wears it again. Old age is probably getting to him faster than he expected. Soon his brittle bones will be crack-a-lackin, pun intended.

The dewy blades of grass and crisp leaves crunching under his feet every time he steps foot on them are a gentle reminder that winter is here in full-swing. The park is now emptier than usual since old folks avoid going out to avoid freezing in the chilly air.

Winters are his most favourite season and he loves chilling outside when it's cold and breezy. It leaves a calming effect on his mind and makes him forget about his worldly worries. Winter, according to him, is the best season, period.

There's no need to worry about sweat pooling all over your body, nor do you have to constantly be worried about rains spoiling your plains- raining on your parade, if you will. All you have to do is wear warm clothes and you're good to go.

What makes it even better is having Pretzel by his side while he walks through the park and feels the chilly wind rattle his old and forlorn bones. (That's a lie, Aman's only 33)

"Pretzel let's go home," Aman calls after Pretzel. The dog obliges almost immediately, and he scampers over to Aman. Bringing Pretzel down to the park during his free time is now A Man's favourite past-time. 

He appreciates all the time he gets to spend with him and cherishes every moment of it. He has lately been working extra hours at work during the past week, it didn't allow him too much time to catch a break and relax. 

Since the park they're at is dog friendly, Pretzel now has some more furry friends. Aman always feels extra happy when he sees Pretzel run around and play with the other dogs at the park. Initially, it was a little difficult to get him out of his shell, but after months of having visited this place, Pretzel now freely socialises with the others.

As they're about to leave, a young guy stops before him, and awkwardly smiles at him. "Can I pet it?" he inquires. Aman smiles and nods in reply. Pretzel is quite the affection magnet. His cute face and adorable walk attracts attention everytime he walks the streets and visits the park.

The guy's taller friend draws closer and coos at the dog as well. "What's his name?" he inquires as he caresses Pretzel's head. Pretzel happily barks up at him and jumps for joy. He raises his paws off the ground and smacks at the guy's abdomen and arms and tries to lick his face.

"Looks like Pretzel's a little too happy to see you," Aman retorts between chuckles. He rarely ever jumps on people and tries to lick them so openly, unless he has met them on many occasions. Never has he been so carefree with strangers. It comes as a surprise not only to the guy but also to Aman.

"Wait….Pretzel?" There's confusion and surprise written all over his face as Pretzel continues with his antics. "I missed you so much, Pretzel!" The guy gets down on his knees and embraces Pretzel. The dog's tail wags madly.

Aman feels a million questions popping up in his head, the answers to which he can't seem to find. Once the guy stands up again and diverts his attention back to Aman, he inquires, "Are you Aman, Kartik's boyfriend?"

"Um…...yes"

"Hi! I'm Arjun!" 

He reaches his hand towards Aman to shake him by the hand enthusiastically. "This is my boyfriend, Kavin," he says while pulling the shorter guy closer by the waist. He ends it with a flirtatious wink aimed at Kavin which earns him a smack on his shoulder.

"I was the one who rescued Pretzel and gave him away to Kartik because I had nowhere to keep him," Arjun explains. 

Everything suddenly makes sense to Aman. He is now reminded of the time Kartik told him how he actually found Pretzel. Initially, it had completely slipped out of Aman's mind, but now that Arjun reiterated the fact, that day feels fresh in his brain.

"Oh, yes, of course, Kartik did tell me about you. I'm so thankful that the two of you met that day, and this angel came into my life," Aman comments sincerely. A genuine smile blooms on his face. His eyes turn watery and he looks away so he can stealthily dab them dry.

"I need to be more thankful to Kartik instead. We had a long and profound conversation that day. He made me understand that I shouldn't wait for the future to try and do something that's possible in the present."

He proceeded to kiss the back of Kavin's hand.

''If it weren't for him I would probably never have picked up the courage to finally confess to Kavin and ask him out. You're really lucky to have someone like Kartik in your life." Kavin gives Arjun's hand a comforting squeeze and mouths a soft "I love you". Arjun heaves a sigh and turns back to face Aman. 

"Well, looks like Kartik forgot to tell me this very important detail," Aman replies as he grins widely at the guys before him. "Honestly, you two are being very sweet right now. I feel like I might get diabetes or something."

"Where's Kartik, anyway?" Arjun asks. "I wanna meet him so bad."

"Let me take you to him, yeah?"

Arjun nods and happily obliges. "Will he be okay with it? We don't wanna be imposing on the two of you," Kavin chides in. "Oh no, it's nothing like that. Come along you two," Aman retorts with a small smile.

  
  
  


___

  
  
  


Kartik had been watching performance videos of his newest favorite band on YouTube when he heard the front door loudly shut. He cracks a knowing smile. He missed his boyfriend during that hour-long absence of his. 

He knows he has gotten a lot clingier lately, but Aman lets him have his way, and he's so glad to have such an amazing lover. He shuts his laptop and exits the bedroom. Once he's in close proximity with Aman, he hugs his back, resting his chin on Aman's shoulder, he heaves a sigh of relief. 

Missed yous are exchanged between the two of them in soft whispers and caresses. Kartik hears a third person clear their throat to catch the lovebirds' attention, it works. Kartik lets go of Aman and turns around and comes face to face with a familiar face. 

"We've definitely met, but I can't seem to remember your name," Kartik replies with a frown as he tries to recall the name that goes with this face.

"I'm Arjun. You got Pretzel because of me, remember?"

As if Arjun flipped a magical switch, a projection of the events of that day flash before his eyes again. It's been a little over a year since everything in his life changed completely. He can't confidently decide if it was for the better or worse, but his life did change tons.

"Oh, hi! It's so good to see you here!" Without giving it a second thought, Kartik squeezes the boy in a hug and pats his back and shoulders as if they're old mates. 

"Kavin…." Arjun nudges Kavin over to him once they're done hugging. "Hello, I'm Kavin! It's great to finally meet you! Thanks for talking some sense into this dummy's head that day." Kavin jokingly pushes Arjun's head away with the tips of his fingers.

"Well, I'm your dummy now," Arjun says as he side-hugged his boyfriend and pecks his cheek. "No PDA please. This boomer…." Kartik pauses so he can pull Aman by his side, since he's the aforementioned 'boomer'. ".... doesn't approve of it."

"I'm no boomer!" Aman complains. "Anyway, you two go get seated at the dinner table. Kartik and I will get us lunch."

"That won't be necessary. We should head home," Kavin tries to put off the offer. He elbows Arjun, signalling him to decline. 

"You're staying and it's final!" 

  
  
  


____

  
  
  
  


After lunch, the four of them chatted for quite a while. The fact that Kavin and Aman had a lot of common interests helped them spark an interesting conversation, Kartik and Arjun chide in responses every now and then.

Something about Arjun and Kavin's energy instantly puts Kartik at ease. They seem to be the kind of guys that are trustworthy enough for you to lean on for support. Having people like that around Aman when he's gone is something Kartik would like. 

Of course, he can't expect them to visit that often. They do not have a personal nor a professional relation with Kartik, or even Aman, for that matter. 

Arjun just happened to stumble into his life tailing Pretzel, and that's about it. Kartik would like to believe that it was fate's way of showing them the big picture that was kind of blurry in that moment, but with time, it would send forth a clear message.

Call Kartik a fool for believing in this thing called 'destiny', but he wholeheartedly believes that the fact that he met Pretzel that day and the way he has impacted Aman and his life is no game of chance, it has purpose.

Perhaps, even the fact that Aman happened to meet Kavin and Arjun at the park today wasn't just coincidence. There has to be a deeper meaning to it that will unfold with time.

But, for now, Kartik is kind of bored of their idle chatter. The restlessness gets his legs bobbing slightly and he kinda wants to get up and get moving. He tries to sit cross-legged on the couch and pay closer attention to the ongoing conversation about the wide range of organic foods Aman has lately come across, but he can't seem to concentrate. 

"Sorry to interrupt, but can I play some music in the background while you two talk?"

Arjun perks up at that. "Oh, yes please! There's nothing better than jam sessions!" he interjects enthusiastically. Kavin looks at Arjun and shakes his head a bit, giggling at his random burst of excitement. "Or you could play ballads while we continue talking, whatever suits you," Arjun adds, shrugging his shoulders.

"Jam sessions sound good!" Aman says. "But be warned, Kartik is slightly obsessed with Day6 these days, so he might play most of their music," he adds teasingly.

"They're the vocalists of the decade, okay?" Kartik retorts. "Please play whatever you wish," Kavin supplies shyly. 

Kartik doesn't need to be told twice to blast his favourite dance music and jam to it. He doesn't care that Arjun and Kavin are pretty close to complete strangers to them. He belts out the lyrics to 'Die Young' by Kesha and dances like no one's watching. 

Somewhere down the line, he pulls the others to their feet. They have an impromptu dance routine where they followed Kartik's, if you can call it that. They looked like a bunch of struggling and lost baby bunnies cluelessly following him.

In no time, they let loose and moved freely and did their own thing. It allowed Aman to inhale a breath of fresh air that rustled the monotonous spring of his daily life. Kartik was used to jamming out to his music all by himself at home while Aman's at work, ever since he gave up his job. It feels great having them all to join in.

Soon, the rhythmic, fast-paced beats of his music went from a peppy feeling to a slow and soulful ballad. "Let me go switch to another track," Aman chides over his shoulder as he begins walking away.

Kartik wants to have none of it. He reaches and tugs at the hem of Aman's sweater. "What?" Aman inquires even though he has an idea of what is to come next. 

Kartik is a man of action. He circles arms his around Aman's shoulders and lets Aman's arms circle his waist. Just like that they begin to slow-dance in the living room. They get lost in each other's eyes and pay no need to their surroundings.

Watching them lose themselves makes a soft smile blooms on Arjun and Kavin's face. Kavin inches closer to Arjun and leans his head against Arjun's shoulder while Arjun lets his fingers softly caress Kavin's shoulder and arm.

Kartik stops Aman's movements for a moment just so he can bend down and kiss Pretzel's fluffy head and coo at him. Aman trudges over to them and then each of them hold one of Pretzel's paws and sway him side to side to the melody.

**_The music stops._ **

  
  
  


****

  
  
  


_ To rebel against the shackles of grief, _

_ In the cold, silence leaps a flickering 'Light', _

_ Giving birth to a fire set ablaze, _

_ It catches sight of its companion's face, _

_ The happiness in whose life runs scarce. _

_ The ally falters on his path, _

_ 'til a caress of 'Light's feathery touch is felt, _

_ In time, a smile replaces the face that mopes, _

_ Laughter accompanies it down the difficult slope, _

_ His vice-like grip grabs the edge of the rope. _

_ Then comes a tomorrow not as bright as the past, _

_ The bright youthful glow turns to a weary gleam, _

_ The companion shines bright enough to make them power through, _

_ Despite the pain, 'Light' doesn't feel down and blue, _

_ He knows it's time to switch to 'one' from two. _

_ 'Light' blacks out completely one day  _

_ The void it leaves is in no way reversible _

_ 'Light' leaves for its journey to heaven, _

_ The ally tries, just like 'Light', to be a blessing _

_ In the life of another, and to cause happiness in succession. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not very satisfied with how I've written this chapter but it's my first completed fic now so, I guess it's kinda okay for it, yeah? Anyway, it was fun writing this fic and I hope yall liked it too uwu 
> 
> PS - Stan Day6 <3


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